Thursday, April 30, 2009

Peace Baby Peace

How much excitement can one guy take?

I just completed work on an internet company as the COO and a consultant. Have a gander Focus is addiction treatment and prevention.

I just found out a month ago that I am going to be a father again, at 44! That will be a ball!

Been Twittering and Facebooking and MySpacing like mad. I never thought I would find some of the people I have through these applications but I have and it has been fun. I actually got Maria Schriver as a friend on both Facebook and Twitter! Never thought that would happen but it has.

Hurt my back last week and the residual achiness is killing me!

All this good stuff and the annoying stuff is getting on my nerves.

You know what I just want some peace! But to make the peace last I know I have to do some more and get the business earning! So off to work I go again!

Peace to you !


Friday, April 24, 2009

Home Is Where The Heart Is

Really, Home is where the heart is! What happens when your heart is split between two places 5000 miles apart?

Here I am this morning sitting on the balcony looking at the sunrise reflecting off the white walls of Topkapi Palace thinking about a lot of things and soaking in the energy of the universe like most mornings. Only this morning for some reason I am completely split. I have three kids in the US whome I have not seen since November 27th of 2006. I miss looking into their eyes, touching their cheek or hugging them. I think of them every day, and how much they just don't understand why. I talk to them but it is not the same and it probably never will be.

I am also thinking about my fourth child growing in my wife, and what kind of life we will have to share. The love, the cheeks, the hugs. I love my wife, this place, and this life. I still miss them. Happiness and sadness shared by the same thought, pleasure and pain at the same idea by the same heart.

I do my duty, I support my kids in the states all I can. But it is impossible for me to do the little things I want to so much.

How do I share that? How do I share that with my wife and our child. Do they experience less of me because part of me is there pining for my children I cannot see anymore? Am I harming my fourth child, loving it less because I am sending some into the great unknown for it? Is an 8 week old fetus able to perceive the drain sending love 5000 miles is on me?

The home is where the heart is? İs it possible to have a broken and full heart at the same time?



Thursday, April 23, 2009

Waiting For Professionalism

Delay, no follow through, emotional agony waiting for professionalism.

DELAY: to not do what you need to do in a timely manner
FOLLOW THROUGH: to strike beyond the point of contact or doing what you say you will do when you say you will do it
PROFESSIONALISM: aparently just another damn "ism" nobody gives a crap about.

WOW - where is Lee at today? WAITING AGAIN

I just do not understand why people believe they can get away with performing poorly at best. Seems to me I am surrounded by people who do not perform at all, or whenever thay damn well please!

If anyone out there in the electron microworld is paying any attention please help me understand the concept of Turkish people who do what they want to the level they want in a time frame they change constantly, and finally could give a SHIT if they read muchless adhere to the terms of even the simplest contract!

"I will complete the contracted task within 20 days or less" What the hell is so confusing about that is 20 something different in Turkish than it is in English?

Screw them! I don't want another Turk working on this project!

Peace even if you are a neglectful Turk who believes getting away with it is cursory to survival!